By Toby Leffew 

On Tuesday, Oct. 18, 2022, at 11:50 AM…A shockwave rang out throughout the campus.  The Outlook notification sound quietly chimed from my computer’s tinny speakers, as I checked on my email… 

    “Hannah Piechowski via Students, to All Current Students” 

    “Good morning. Last week, a speed bump was removed from the road in front of Morrison Hall. We are looking for information regarding who is responsible for removing that. We would like to avoid replacing the missing safety device with a concrete bump. If you know anything or have any information, please let Student Affairs know as soon as possible. Thank you for your cooperation in making McPherson a safe community.” And, I had only one question…What the heck? 

    The speedbump was put back in its place in the evening, on Wednesday, Oct. 19. Memes were shared all over campus, and we had a good laugh. But part of me wonders…what was that, anyway? 

WHAT WE KNOW: 

    The week before Oct. 18 (which, I must note, was Homecoming Week), a speedbump was stolen from outside of Morrison. It is currently unknown (by the general public) who did it. The email was sent out on Oct. 18, and the speedbump was brought back on Oct. 19. Despite this, a vigil was held at the gazebo on Oct. 20.  

    That’s…kind of it. Without Dr. Piechowski’s email, I doubt anyone would have noticed, unless they were closer to Morrison. Speaking of Dr. Piechowski’s email, I doubt that it would have become the talk of the town if it wasn’t for the response that came after this. 

THE PUBLIC’S RESPONSE: 

    A student emailed Dr. Piechowski back, inquiring why the speedbump was such an urgent matter, but the WiFi problems throughout campus weren’t getting that energy. Many students began creating memes in response to these ongoing developments, most of which were making fun of the situation, as well as Dr. Piechowski’s response to it. Dr. Piechowski was made aware of these memes, and found them quite humorous. 

WHAT I CAN SAY ABOUT IT: 

    Even though the memes were funny, I don’t think directing the anger towards the WiFi situation at Dr. Piechowski was the best idea. I know that most of this was in jest, but I still don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. Trust me, the WiFi problems on campus sucked (I wrote half of this article using my mobile hotspot), but I’m not sure if that’s her department. I can understand the frustration, though. Sometimes it feels like the things the college chooses to focus on don’t always line up with what the students here would like them to.  

    Then again, I don’t think most people who were joking about the situation were mad, per se. I think they were just dunking on a funny situation. The absurdity of it just made it humorous, the oddity of someone stealing a SPEEDBUMP! 

    Even though we all had a good laugh about it, I must state that theft is no laughing matter. It’s easy to point at this and have a fair laugh, but it must be noted that this is a crime. Don’t waste your time imitating it for a laugh. You’re funny, you don’t need to resort to stealing in order to make people laugh. 

    I don’t know who did it, and I’m not even going to speculate in this article. Some students have remarked (in jest) that it was an inside job, that the college stole it to divert attention away from the ongoing WiFi troubles. I don’t think I have to say how wrong this is, but just in case…Do you really think the college would go through all that effort, just to get people to stop being annoyed at the WiFi? No, that’d be a lot of effort to inconvenience the student body.  

    I doubt that the student body will ever know who did it, but does it really matter? The speedbump is back, we had a few laughs about the situation, and we’re back to business as usual.  

    Bumpgate will remain as one of the weirdest events I’ve experienced at Mac, and something I won’t forget any time soon.